Dear Readers,

My name is Becky Miklos, and I am a volunteer working under the guidance of Peggy Gurrad on the Amity foster care program in Nanchang. I began this work in January 2001, and have gradually assumed more responsibilities. 

I have a daughter, Sarah, who I adopted from the Nanchang Orphanage in March 2000. 

The wonderful care she received while in foster care was the catalyst for my involvement with this program, and her continuing to thrive fuels and renews my commitment to it over and over again.

In October 2002, I traveled to Nanchang to adopt my second daughter, Eva, who was waiting at the Shangrao orphanage, about 4 hours by car from Nanchang. After I received my referral, Peggy suggested that if I’d like, perhaps she could arrange for me to visit some orphanages while I was in Jiangxi Province. I jumped at the chance, and eventually we had arrangements to meet the director of the Amity Orphanage Projects, Wu An An, and to visit four orphanages with her: Nanchang, Yingtan, Shangrao and Hengfeng. My 3 1/3 year old daughter Sarah, my mom, and I left for China a week early and made our visits prior to catching up with the rest of our adoption travel group in Beijing. Over three weeks time, we spent 51 hours in the air on ten different flights, and occupied seven different hotel rooms.

Sunday, October 20, 2002, Nanchang, Jiangxi

We finally arrived at the Nanchang Airport around 7:30 pm and were met by Wu An An, Amity’s Director of Orphanage Projects. Waiting in the orphanage van were the driver and a man named Bao, one of the orphanage officials. We were exhausted, but managed to enjoy a meal at a local restaurant before finally finding our pillows at the Gloria Hotel.

The orphanage van picked us up at 9:30 a.m. and took us to the orphanage. We went up four flights to a meeting room (the same room in which I met Sarah’s foster parents in 2000!) where we were given a brief overview of the history of the orphanage and the current situation. Unfortunately for us, we didn’t get to meet the orphanage director, Madame Chen Ling Ling, because she was in Russia overseeing the development of orphanage projects there. We did get to meet the person who runs the foster care programs for the orphanage, Wan Chang Ping. We were told she has worked in the orphanage for 22 years, and has been in charge of the foster care program for four years. Bao was also present at the meeting, as well as the doctor who works with the orphanage children.

Amity sponsors 60 children in foster care from the Nanchang orphanage. They told us that the children all show lots of improvement from being with their foster families – especially the children who have cerebral palsy. Wan Chang Ping maintains a waiting list for Amity of children who are ready to be placed in foster care. Wu An An requires this so that she knows that the children placed into Amity’s foster care are truly special needs children.

We were told that there are twelve Hugging Grannies sponsored by Amity who work with the children in the orphanage. In particular, they spend time with the children on the foster care waiting list, getting them used to additional care and affection and teaching them the skills they’ll need to live out of the orphanage. 

Next, I presented a large shopping bag full of gifts for many foster care children that I had brought from their sponsors. The staff was clearly thrilled to see this, and though we didn’t visit every child that we had a gift for, they agreed to see that the children would receive their gifts. I also had some letters and photos from adoptive families, and they were glad to receive those – promising to see that Madame Chen ultimately received them.

We were shown HTS, a girl born March 2002, with a tumor on her bottom.  She sits in a small bucket, because the tumor is so large that she can't sit any other way.  They would like to arrange help for her.  We met two deaf children on the waiting list. There is a school for the deaf, but it is far from the orphanage. The Grannies try to teach them, but their lives are fairly isolated. 

Next we went outside and An An spoke with the Grannies at some length. The Grannies would like to have another conference. They are passionate and committed and have formed strong bonds with the children. They want to make a difference and improve. At this time, Amity generally discourages that the Grannies develop special relationships with the sponsors. 

While standing outside, we could hear the older school children reciting their lessons in another part of the orphanage. 

We were taken to the second floor of a newly renovated building where the healthy infants are cared for.

Then we went to the office where the files on the children in foster care are kept. I asked about the children who were recently placed into foster care from the waiting list, and Wan Chang Ping eagerly pulled their binder files from her shelf and showed us new pictures of the children with their foster mothers. It was obvious that she liked what she did and she was proud of the progress the children were making.  While we were there, a boy with braces and a crutch came in to visit. We recognized him as the hepatitis B positive boy my mother sponsors in foster care!  

Soon it was lunchtime, and we were treated to lunch prepared by the orphanage cooking staff, before climbing into the orphanage van to make our foster child visits. Wu An An and Wan Chang Ping were our guides.

At our first stop we hopped out and proceeded briskly through a busy alleyway between six-story high apartment buildings. Laundry hung from balconies overhead, and the enticing smell of food cooking hung in the air. This appeared to be a very typical dwelling environment in Nanchang.  We were told that nearly all of the apartment buildings in Nanchang are six stories high because of a code dictating that buildings seven stories and higher require elevators. Most of the foster care families we visited in Nanchang lived on the sixth floor. 

By flashlight we walked up a dark stairway to the sixth floor where we met a little boy with cerebral palsy who is newly in foster care, HJQ, and his foster mother and father. JQ sat on a small stool and watched shyly. The apartment was tidy and cozy, and we were offered oranges and apples. Their older biological son peaked out of his room and smiled at us. It was a typical apartment with two bedrooms and a small sitting room and kitchen with an adjacent bathroom sporting the omnipresent swat-potty.

After a few minutes there was a knock at the door, and we were joined by a neighbor who fosters HTJ, a two-year-old girl with cerebral palsy and epilepsy. We were told she has made great improvement since she was recently placed in foster care. With them was the other child the mother fosters, HTR, an eight-year-old girl who is mentally retarded. HTJ can walk, but she can only use one arm. With that hand, she takes an apple from the bowl and offers it to my daughter.

On our way back down the stairs, several cats fled from the dark corners. The corridors were dusty and dirty, but not smelly. We finally reached the startling sunshine and tracked down the waiting van.

A short drive, and we’re walking up to the fourth floor to visit HYF, a two-year-old girl with cerebral palsy. She was happy and relaxed and obviously loved her foster mother and older sister. We were offered oranges and apples. Then the little girl disappeared into a bedroom and came back with candy to share with Sarah. It was a very touching moment.  

Back into the van, and we entered an area with a collection of apartment buildings that An An called an “enterprise.”  My understanding is that this based around a manufacturing facility. This is where the school is located that many of the Amity foster children attend. We were told that the schooling used to be free, but now it costs $118 per year. Many of the foster children live in within the enterprise. The foster mothers are friends and the children spend time playing together.  When our van arrived, several mothers and children were outside enjoying the nice weather.  

The first child we visited here was HZQ, a boy with cerebral palsy, which makes him unable to walk. He also lived on the sixth floor, and his foster mother carried him up and down the stairs several times a day. His foster parents had bought him an electric scooter so that he could move around the small apartment on his own. He obviously enjoyed the scooter.  After we left, we saw him outside later, moving along the sidewalk by sitting on a short stool and scooting it forward a little at a time.  An An suggested that he would benefit from a walker. 

(UPDATE: In March 2010 we received this e-mail from his adoptive family in the Netherlands:  "He has been in our family in the Netherlands since 2003 and
is doing very well. As I e-mailed you a few years ago he had his second
Heart surgery in 2003. Now at this time he is recovering from his third
surgery which he had last week and maybe it will be the last one. Shan, as
we call him now, is already back home.  He got a new valve and a piece of
new blood vessel. The doctor told us he prepared the boy for the future so
the planned surgery when he is grown up is perhaps not necessary anymore. I
would like you to know this and we thank everyone very much who made his
first surgery possible. Without it our son would not have survived.")

Next we visited HJM, a 22 month-old girl who had surgery on her clubfoot, which was sponsored, by Amity, and now lives with a foster family. The little girl also wears a brace that was purchased by Amity donations, but the brace seemed to fit poorly and the little one cried silent tears as her foster mother prompted her to show us how she could walk with the brace. Perhaps a new brace is needed.  

Then we walked a little ways to the place where the children attend “Kindergarten.” In China, the word Kindergarten actually refers to schooling for children ages 3–6, and then “pre-school” refers to a program 6 years old attend who are not yet ready for regular school. The Kindergarten consists of 4 classrooms on the second floor of a building, one room each for ages 3, 4, 5, and 6. It was pretty chaotic, possibly because it was near the end of the school day.  

On our way out, we visited one last home and saw HST and HT. HST is a two-year-old girl with a deformity of her right ear. She was napping when we arrived. HT was visiting with her foster mother. She is a four-year-old with a developmental delay who has also had surgery on her leg because it was broken. These children were recently placed into foster care from the Amity waiting list. The children appeared shy and reserved, and seemed to be still adjusting to their new homes. Their foster mothers were both a bit teary. It was explained to us that they missed their former foster children, who a month before had been adopted internationally into their forever families. It was touching to see how much these women loved the children in their care. Also in the home was HTL, a four-year-old girl who with congenital heart disease who has received surgery. She was fond of the two other children, and tried to reassure them. I have since learned that HTL has been referred and is waiting for her forever family! 

As we were walking out of the enterprise back to the van, Wan Chang Ping asked me for my thoughts about the day. I related through Wu An An that I was most struck by how much the foster mothers loved the children and how much tenderness they showed toward them. These women are mothers first, I say. Clearly they bond with their foster children and in that bond is healing and hope. I promised that I will share what I have seen with others in the adoption community at home. Every adoptive parent knows what it is to embrace an unknown child, and claim and heal that child. I say I will testify to the raw pain I saw on the faces of the two foster mothers who recently “lost” their children to international adoption. One tried to hide the tears she could not stop by nuzzling the nape of her new foster child’s neck. These are good mothers. Mothers who do what mothers do everywhere – make sacrifices, worry, hope the best for their children. They are mothers who love. 

I also saw that foster care fulfills a need for both parties: it gives the children love of a family, and it also gives the mothers an opportunity to love another child. Everywhere in Nanchang families only have one child. Many have hearts that yearn to love another child, and foster care fills that need. The joy is palpable.